3 weeks + 2 days

We've past the 3 week mark! And with that brings new challenges.

I find that in week 1 and 2, it was a constant struggle for me. Between sleep deprivation, hormones, recovering from labour, and being new parents - my nerves were on the edge. Everyday is a challenge and I worry that I'm the only one in the world experience my sleep drama/baby sleep challenges/ baby blues/baby feeding dramas. All I can say is thank god for mummy friends - my friends who are already mummies - and have experienced the same thing.

Every week I gain a little more experience. I wish i knew in week 1 what I know in week 2, it would have lessen my anxiety. Likewise now, what I didn't know last week!

Baby K is sleeping well these days on our bed. Our biggest challenge? Her being gassy and having a bit of a reflux while feeding. She arches her neck and back, then unlatches and cries. And hiccoughs. And spits some milk. Post feeding she takes a while to settle.

...I just have to ride past this challenge!

Day 17

So much for the reprieve in my last post. Monday, 22 July was one of the toughest day for me. Twitchy went back to work, which left me feeling a little lonely. Yes I had mum and aunt around but I still feel lonely. Felt as though Twitchy was my one true support. So needless to say I wasn't in the Best of mood when I got up with baby k at 9 am.

True enough, by 10 am have had a full blown argument with mum AND aunt about parenting skills. Aunt says I'm hormonal (which yes I think I am, too) but they provoked me first! It's a generational thing, I suppose. It all stemmed from mum putting baby asleep in the corner of the bassinet! Big no no for SIDS. She refused to listen to my rationale then my aunt says I am overreacting. 

I got so upset I told them to shut it and leave me alone. Haven't really spoken to them since.

....was I hormonal? Yes. Was I overreacting? Maybe. But was my concern justified? Yes! Anyway. Spent the next few days not talking much. Needed to conserve energy to care for baby. I CBF picking fights or making conversations. ( that was how exhausted I am!)

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Today I am feeling positive. I now weigh 56.1 kg, have lost a little more than 50% of my pregnancy weight and the tummy is fast shrinking. The stretch marks are still there but hopefully is fading...

And the best feeling? Is that baby is finally ok sleeping on her own on our bed. The past two nights we clocked in at least 6 hours pernight. Which is a huge win. Baby has also started to nap on the pram bassinet during the day. Short naps. But enough for me to run off and shower, and do little things that makes me feel human again!

It's days like these that gives me hope. Hopefully this will be somewhat of a routine....

Baby K is two weeks...and a reprieve

After having such a low day, today is shaping up to be a good one. I feel relaxed. I feel rested ( well not really, but well). Baby is feeding and sleeping well.

And today marks 2 weeks since baby K came into our lives! I can't express how volatile it has been. The emotional rollercoaster, the anxiety, the waterworks, the sleep deprivation! But it all goes away momentarily every time I gaze at her face. My love.

Low low low

Nobody told me abt feeling low when you have a tiny miny me dependant on you for all their needs. Feeling low because I feel trapped. Can't leave home, can't enjoy some sun.... Can't even eat what I want!

Baby k  hates being put down to sleep. She cries every time I put her down, no matter how tired she is! I feel depressed:(

...but I also feel lot of love for this tiny human being. God give me strength to cope and be a good mom.

Hard boobs and sleep

Woke up with hard boobs today, it's day 10. I guess milk is well and truly here! Baby K had another one of her crazy cluster feeding moments last night and fed for 4 hours! I was so exhausted towards the end of the night....

Today Twitchy and I decided to experiment and try putting Baby K to sleep in our pram bassinet. Since baby K hates her bassinet, we thought we'd try another one. And it seems to work. She's been asleep for an hour now. Would it be premature to celebrate?

9 days later....

I now weigh 57.1kg, which is a weight loss of 6.2kg since the birth oh baby K! No exercise needed, just day-to-day life adapting to baby. Which of course, included lots of stress, tears, stamina and fatigue!

I am eating well. If you could call a diet of ginger that. Following Chinese confinement is such a pain! I understand some of the rationale, but some other aspects are just plain nonsense. My biggest complain is the food ( I think it's got to do w the fact that my cater has no idea how to vary their cooking), drink ( imagine not being able to drink water when breastfeeding) or showering and washing hair. 

Yesterday I felt low. Like I had no control in my life. Bad enough my routine revolves around baby- but to not be able to eat/ drink what I want or even shower? That nearly killed me.

After a good cry.... I decided to cheat. Drink lots of water in the bedroom & sneak a shower in the morning in the ensuite. Hah! I felt better already. Take that u stupid confinement!

Update : Baby K had her weight checked today too. The midwife gave her a clean bill of health. And Baby K surpassed expectations, she surpassed her birth weight and gain some more! 

Today is working out to be a good day! 😅

Baby K's first week highlights

Dear Baby K,

I feel like I need to document every minute of the first week of your life here. But time is running out. Any moment now you will wake up and demand a feed! So I better be quick....

Day 1 - 8/7

High on adrenalin! Can't believe baby is here! 

She also had an long sleep, from 7am to 1pm. I thought it was because she was a good baby but I think it maybe just her being a sleepy newborn. 

Baby wouldn't stop feeding in the afternoon and way into the night. She was hungry. Sucking really weakly so resorted to formula to supplement hunger. Also sent her to the nursery as I was in a pretty bad state- exhaustion and pain from labour.

Day 2 - 9/7

After a nightmare of night, I woke up in good spirits and ready to take on the challenges. Also just occurred to me that I should take everyday at a time.

Went to classes at the hospital which also helped assured that we are on track and that we are not alone with the problems.

Had a pretty good night with me feeding baby every 2 hours to make sure she is not too hungry

Day 3 - 10/7

Baby's a little jaundiced so I'm continuing to ensure that baby is hydrated, well fed and have wet nap pies!

Restless night. Baby supplemented with 2 doses of formula to help her sleep. 

Right on schedule, baby blues hit. A condition that's associated with the breast finally producing milk and release of pregnancy hormones. Sure wasn't pleasant as I turn into a blubbery mess! Probably didn't help that twitchy wasn't allowed to stay in the hospital throughout the entire duration. 

Day 4 - 11/7

Hep B vaccination and discharge weight was 2.772kg! A healthy weight as baby has not lost much from the past few days.

Discharged from hospital and our first night home!

I didn't cope very well leaving the hospital. Feels as though I'm leaving safe grounds and about to embark in the dangerous world on my own! Baby K was put in the car capsule and started crying which made me cry too! She stopped within a minute or two but my waterworks continue untill I got home!

Day 5 - 12/7

It's Twitchy's birthday! We're still struggling a little with routine but I'm beginning to get the hang of things. It's really comfortable being at home, compared to the hospital. I'm getting lots of support from all mummy friends by sharing experiences, advices and reassurances. Thank god for mothers! Speaking of which, grandma has been helpful with cooking and cleaning. We don't always get along but I a, forever grateful she is looking out for her baby who is looking after a baby now....

We celebrated  Twitchy's birthday with cake in the evening!

Baby's umbilical cord fell off during a nappy change - that was quick!

Day 6 - 13/7

Opa,Oma and Sil came over for lunch, which was quite nice. It's actually nice to have a conversation w family. 

We had the best night sleep tonight. I am resigned to the fact that baby's only been here for 6 days so there is no such thing as being spoiled! So baby sleeps on my chest. We clock in a record of 5 hours sleep with a feed & diaper change in between.

Day 7 - 14/7

Today! Today I am so much more comfortable than I have been in days. 

My body sores have lessen, anxiety level has dropped off and am no longer too stressed over things not being done. 

Baby K actually laughs and smiles in her sleep when she doesn't even do it in real life! It's amazing...

Twitchy and Grandma have gone out this afternoon to shop, so it's baby and I on the couch! Loving it.

Immense love

One week on and baby K and I are slowly adapting to life, to each other, and being at home!

I am trying to savour every moment I have with baby, after all, they don't always stay a newborn. And this being my firstborn......sure is special! I remember my labour. 3 pushes and the doctor got me to reach out (or down) for Baby K! 

It's a special moment that Twitchy and I will remember forever. Baby K  freshly born on my chest, she hardly cried. Instead she had her eyes wide open and stared at us. Tears just streamed down my face at that moment. I remember turning to Twitchy and say that we've just created perfection. 

At this time last week

I can't believe at this time last week baby was still kicking away inside of me. I was deeply uncomfortable, and was having contractions 5 mins apart! I remember jumping into the shower, thinking that it'll not be long before we need to head to the hospital....

Baby K is 6 days old

Can't believe baby K is already 6 days old! I've been wanting to write her birth story but I hardly have time to even use the toilet, let alone write.

There are so many things I'd like to do but taking a nap is the top of my list when baby naps. I am now averaging a total of 3-4 hours of sleep( this is a cumulation of all the broken sleep throughout the day and night.

How do I feel? Sometimes like a filthy animal. Make it a cow, since I seem to be feeding baby 8-10 times a day!

I have had plenty of moments over the past few days. I really want to record them and remember them forever ( and maybe someday I'd look back and laugh).

Baby K is growing so fast. Her look changes; one day she looks like me, next day she looks more like dad. Latest development? Her umbilical cord dropped off on day 5! That was quick!!! I thought they don' t drop till a week or two?!

Please don't grow too quickly baby, let me savour every moment I have with you.

Baby K

Baby K arrived at 4:56pm on 7/7!

Who would have thought that Twitchy and I could have created perfection?

To the hospital or not?

I keep waiting for my dramatic sign to get to the hospital. Been having contractions every 5-7 minutes at 40 seconds each time. It's uncomfortable, but I don't feel severely in pain! Hmmmmm the dilemma.

Sleepless nights

All throughout pregnancy I've had really good sleep. But for the past few nights i've been a night owl. Come 1:45am my eyes would open. And not go back to sleep until 4-5am.

What a pain!

And it's crucial timing too. Considering these would be the last few nights before baby arrives!

40 weeks today

We're due today!

What did I do? Lots, even though I had crappy sleep last night. Walked to the shops with mum and had coffee and then a bit of a walk around the neighbourhood. It was good morning for a walk. When we got home, we continued exploring my building and the street parallel to time.

After a bit of a rest - watching a drama series, we went to the mall for lunch.

While we were walking at the mall I felt a little funny. Like a twinge of something. (What can I say, I'm quite intuitive when it comes to my body!). Went to the toilet to check, but nothing.

It's close to bedtime, and I definitely think something's up. Like I'm leaking. Whether this is something to be excited about, we shall see!

Like a child

My mother is like a child. All she ever does is to complain and nag. She constantly complains about the weather but what does she wear? A t shirt at home and opens all the doors. She complains about the lack of sunlight but wouldn't go out for a walk under the sun. And when we're finally out she complains about the ray of sun light , how it's too bright.

Oh god. 

So the 5 hours were spent out at an Asian grocery store, where she bought things that we already have. Then lunch. Then a bit of a walk. And if that's not enough I took her to Luna Park for a stroll and ice cream. Only then she was a little happier.

I think I have already demonstrated super strength today by being patient and accommodating. I have been out for 5 hours. My back hurts, I am exhausted from the lack of sleep last night. And I have not snapped at her. But boy, I'm so damn tired. 

Name me a 40-week pregnant lady who not only has to endure pregnancy but also the stress and exhaustion of minding a 60 year old child....

39 weeks + 5

It's July, it's July!

After 9 days of rain, the first day of July brought a ray of sunshine. Which is very much welcomed here. I was going nuts trying to figure out how to entertain mum and also to figure out ways to exercise and stretch my legs. Geez, being heavily pregnant and restricted is sure no fun. Some people find joy in just eating and sleeping but I just can't do it! I'd love to walk, sight see and watch movies! Added to stress is mum being here. Mum who is not too independant and not adventurous on her own - which means, I struggle to keep her entertained.

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How far along? 39 weeks + 5 days

Total weight gain/loss: I haven't dared to weigh myself for a while. All I know is that I have been eating a fair bit and my little low tummy is not so little anymore!

Maternity clothes? Yes! Wearing the same old outfits day in and out. Decided that i'll just wear hoodies and jumpers and lots of scarf rather than buying new coats. Also tracky daks and dressing gown when i'm home. I like wearing my fitted long sleeve tops to show off the bump!

Stretch marks? Yes :( Right on 38 weeks the stretch marks appear. It's low on the tummy so I'm guessing because baby dropped. It's was a little upsetting but I've resigned to it and am repeating to myself that i should be thankful i only started getting them late in pregnancy!

Symptoms: 2 nights of sleeplessness and carrying low. There are still occasions when I get breathless and can't get comfortable. Other than that I'm feeling good!

Sleep:  Occasional sleeplessness. I'd say every other night as I'm getting a little more uncomfortable now. Baby's pretty active at night too.

Best moment these 2 weeks: Now that mum is here, I find relief when hubby is home. He helps to offload the pressure and takes control of things, which I truly treasure.

Have you told family and friends: Yes! Actively posting on Instagram :)

Miss Anything? Sashimi these days. And being slim and not being squashed. Walking and running!

Movement: Baby is head down and engaged! At my last appointment the doctor says she is still even lower. Which i already knew. I can feel her when i walk sometimes. Thankfully I am not waddling yet! She is also moving a little bit more!

Food cravings: Since my last post, I had my durian. It was heavenly! Nothing much otherwise, perhaps fruits?


Anything making you queasy or sick: Still the smell of cooking meat :( Mum has taken over the cooking duties. Thankfully she is mindful of my aversions and has stuck to steamed/boiled food.

Baby is a: GIRL!

Belly Button in or out? Half in and out? hehe! 


Wedding rings on or off? On. Doesn't look like my finger are going to swell.

Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy today because the sun is shining! Been a little moody as I struggle to  adapt to mum being around.

Looking forward to: Baby being here. Any day now - it's 2 days to due date but I doubt she'd be on time. But don't take too long baby, wouldn't want you to overcook!