To the niece whom I'll never meet

Awful awful news. Baby actually has a cousin who is due to arrive in May. A cousin who will be her age. We were all filled with joy, thinking that we'd be raising two kids so close in age.

Unfortunately it wasn't meant to be. My brother and sis-in-law lost their baby at 28 weeks. SIL had high blood pressure and had an episode last week. Blurred vision and nausea. Confined to bed, she stayed there for a few days. When things didn't get any better, they went to see the doctor who then told them he couldn't hear the baby's heartbeat. Their baby had passed.

What happened after, is a series of heart-rending hours. Of when their baby had to be induced. Of praying that my SIL will survive and not suffer a stroke. Of finding out the gender of the baby (girl!). And finally for SIL to be safe and past the danger zone.

I didn't know how they will get through this - but I guess the saviour of all would be my 3 year old nephew, who would not comprehend this but would light up the dark with his laughter. And for the two of them to know they have one to live for, to continue on.

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Baby K is now 22 weeks! She's actively kicking away. And even got Twitchy in the cheek when he was trying to listen to a heartbeat 2 days ago. And yesterday got Twitchy in the mouth, when he was talking to the belly. Yes. Twitchy likes to converse with baby!

Baby kicks very strongly these days. Sometimes I'm amazed by how strong her kicks are! What's going to happen in a few weeks?!

Lurgy

Been down with the flu since...my hens! Which is more than 2 weeks now. I just can't seem to get any better and my spirits are sinking lower and lower as the day goes by.

The wedding's 15 days away, and here I am fighting to get well.

I can't feel anything except anxiety. Please please please let me be well again. I need the energy, the strength and stamina to get through this.

Never forget

5 years ago, on this very same day (Wednesday) daddy passed away.

The day my heart broke for the second time. Things have never been the same since.

I miss you dad. What I'd give to have you around, to talk to.
To walk down the aisle and have our dance

RIP Whitney

I've made many remarks in the past, about how we all see it coming, how she publicly struggled with drugs.

But the saddest thing is to know is that she didn't die of it after all. And just when life was getting a little better from the many volatile years ago.