Not so young anymore

Not working warrants me to late night online chats with people whom I’ve not been in contact for a while. There is nothing more satisfying than late night emo chats with my best friend, Debbie. Usually this warrants a bottle of Vino, in a park/balcony/bar but seeing that she’s a thousand miles away, Msn + webcam shall do.

A couple of nights ago, we had the chance to catch up on goss and thoughts.The past year or so, Debbie and I used to freak out when we hear about people our age who were getting engaged/married/having a kid. What does this signify, to have people our age to think about settling down when we’ve barely started yet? Our rationale was that we’re still still too young; what about the things we’ve dreamt of, the things we have yet to do before settling down? In this day and age, I thought that people would prioritise personal ambitions over marriage…

So back to a couple of nights ago, Debbie and I shared our innermost thoughts and came to a seemingly obvious conclusion. The fact that we’re not so young anymore. ( I suppose this sounded like a D’oh moment but it’s a long time coming….especially since I’m finally coming into terms of me being in the mid 20’s age bracket)

What I’ve just realised is that it is actually normal for people my age to settle down. And why not indeed? You meet your soul mate, you’re comfortable where or with who u are, you’ve achieved your degree…you’re sick of partying, you don’t conform to being cool and you’re just happy and contented. At the prime of your life. So why not settle down? It’s a natural progression after all…..

Even so, I doubt I’ll be doing so anytime soon. I have given serious thought about it but there’s a part of my who will not forgive myself if I do not fulfil my personal ambition of achieving my career of choice and financial independence.

Why do I feel the need to chase my ambitions? Who shoved this idea in my head? Why do I perceive ambitions, financial stability as a form of happiness, and even more disturbing so is why do is it listed above me settling down with my man whom I’ve had a 4 year relationship with? Is this who I really am?

Don’t get me wrong, I am happy where I am. I just can’t help but question my priorities.