Uninspired

I don't know why i'm keeping this alive, or how is it i find things to write about.

....actually.....i don't. Hahaha!

Ok, it's not funny.

Over the past few months I have moved, I battled and worked my ass off at work.
I see myself age'ing and I'm utterly disgusted with myself.


and I am finding a bit of inner peace. Which is an indication that i will find a way to turn things around and f*ck them up. Leave it to me. I manage to do that anyhow.
Must be a talent. Self sabotage.Self destruct.




I saw dad the other day. I ran....and hugged him! We caught up, he seems well and going on a holiday, he says. I want to come along too! Take me! Can't...he says, can't take you along.

I had a tantrum. why not?!after all, we don't see each other much. If you are going to be selfish about this, i'll go on my own holiday. Come with me.

He refused. How I try to drag him to come along, how I pulled his hand....yet he stood still.

I sobbed....and still sobbed when i woke up.

Oh daddy....how much I miss you....