How we are going

A 3:30am post.

Week 14 (last week) was the strangest week ever. Woke up one morning and behold - I felt the most unpregnant ever! Was a bundle of energy, went to bed late (10:30pm!), no nausea and no bloat! I felt so good. But after 2-3 days, I got a little worried - what is wrong with me?

Yes, this is so typically me. Miss worry-wart. Anyway, I had to take a breather and pace myself to enjoy it. Was also reassured by bff who says "Nothing. Welcome to your second trimester!"So I had a pretty good week/weekend, being super productive and active.

Week 15 started the same.
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When I got that call about baby V, my insecurities came right back up. Am I ok? Should I get a doppler to find the heartbeat? Once again had to take a breather and to tell myself to chill out! Instead, Twitchy and I went for a long walk by the beach and had Ben & Jerrys!

Today (i mean yesterday - being up at 3am still counts as the night before), I was suddenly hit with a headache. It's not your typical pounding headache, but uncomfortable nevertheless. Reduced me to being in bed the entire afternoon. Which wasn't so bad - I read a book and listened to the rain. Sipped on hubby's coke during dinner, and felt 100% better! Caffeine really is the remedy when you have preppy headaches!

On, and another update - I think I can finally feel and glimpse the bump. Which is exciting, because before this, I don't really look pregnant. Just felt pregnant and fat (when i have only gained 2 kgs).

OBGYN appointment in 4 days, will be looking forward to seeing mini K then!

Bye V

Friday started of like any other usual day. Uneventful, but with a restless countdown to the weekend.

The phone rang at lunchtime. Strange, I thought. I don't hear from this person much these days. 10 minutes later, a blanket of sadness and grief engulfed me. My dear friends have lost their 4 month old. She was tucked to bed, and when they checked on her later that night, she wasn't breathing. From what I gathered, they rushed to the hospital, where she was put on life support. But didn't make it in the morning.

Devastating. I've heard of SIDS but never heard or know anyone who've been affected.

...the sound of both of my dear friends sobbing will haunt me for a very long time.

I couldn't sleep that night. Culmination of heat, sadness and fear. Is my baby ok? Will my baby be ok?

I'd be happier when I have my next OBGYN appointment next week.

And that's a wrap

It's the last day of 2012! Normally at this time of the year I'd be gearing up to party hard. But with a bun in the oven - I'm crossing my fingers that I would be all right and awake to watch the fireworks.

It's a busy day ahead. Instead of our usual beach house getaway, we'll be at Coogee beach, and possibly staying over at our friend's place, who are heavy drinkers and smokers.

Have I mentioned how sensitive my sense of smell is these days? When Twitchy has more than a beer, he has to resort to sleeping in the living room. The smell is too much to bear!

It's tempting to sit out this New Years Eve, but gotta be a good sport about this, don't we?

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13 Weeks and 6 days

Little bun is now 13 weeks and 6 days. I'm now on my second trimester and nausea has eased up a little. (still creeps up when I fail to eat on time). We survived Xmas in Canberra. Had a 13 hour sleep one night - a result from a morning walk and an evening walk. I am easily breathless from walking up a hill. Typical Xmas, ate too much and tummy got a little stretched and uncomfortable.

Prior to Xmas, I had my 12 week ultrasound. Lil bun was the cutest thing ever. We got a little wave, and its hands were constantly touching its face/nose. Because lil bun was sedentary, I was told to give a little cough. When I did, it moved a little and decided to turn to its side. Mooning us in the process. Ahhhh what a cheeky little bun!

Hunger or Nausea?

Never thought I'd get to the day where I don't know if I'm extremely hungry or just nauseous. 

Sometimes it's both. Which is, bizarre!

Morning sickness is at its peak and I find it so hard to concentrate on functioning. What more being at work and pretending to be normal. Maybe that's here pregnancy brain comes in.

Morale's a little low, as you can probably tell. I feel like crap, the tummy's bloated from all the carbs (thats all I ever want to eat these days) and I feel like I'm expanding. Rapidly!

Melbourne again

Back in Melbourne again, this time for a happy occasion, albeit a work one. We won an award for the hard work we did back in May.

Awards night is tomorrow night, but I caught an earlier flight to catch up w BFF and her Bella.

So here I am tonight, back in this familiar hotel room. As nice as it is to be back on familiar grounds, can't help feeling a slight tinge of depression!

Yuck. Shoo fly, don't bother me!!!

Heartbeat

I saw my little one today. And the little one's heartbeat.

Wow... It really is happening!

When something so significant happens in your life, you just become speechless.

8 weeks

I admit, the last time I wrote about baby, I was already late.1 week late.

Today I'm still late.

And ... 3 home test kits later, it can't possible be wrong, right?

We aren’t really trying, we just aren’t preventing

Having just been married, the conversation often revolves around when we plan to have kids.

What a dilemma.  Kids, inevitably would change your life (for good and bad). Whilst I like the thought of having them, I'd be first to admit. I am scared shitless!

On one hand, we're in the best shape of our lives, we've just survived 9 months of crazy wedding planning and could do with my "us" time. I'd love to party! On the other hand, we're not getting any younger, I'd hate to be an "old" mom and if I want more than 3 kids, we should probably get started.

We've had many conversations, mostly around me telling Mr Twitchy that having a baby is not as easy as it seems. Him, like all men, seem to think it's just the matter of doing it and getting it done. Not so much from what I see. I've seem friends who struggle for years, who remain childless. And I can't imagine the thought of wanting some but not being able to.

So we're letting nature takes its course.

One month on

It's been a little over a month since we got married and it's been rosy. We were kept busy when we got back from Bora - catching up with friends, work and being the bridesmaid at a close friend's wedding.

Yeap. Our close friends got married a month after us, and we were in each other's bridal party! Their wedding was a whole lot of fun, we travelled to hunter valley for that. My fav moment is probably from hanging out with our wider friends like how we'd be on a road trip.

Not so fav moment is being stressed and helping out at the wedding. Meg. Stressed. Also, not pleased that here were some elements similar to our wedding. But hey, imitation is the best form of flattery, right?

But I digress.

So now we're back to a bit of quiet tie. And I'm feeling lost. I desperately miss being at Bora Bora. The tropical sun, the luxurious hotel....the beautiful blue....

SIGH!

Bora Bora Paradise

It's day 4 of our honeymoon and I thought I'd post a note to self. I really made it here and it's as beautiful and even better than I thought! All those pictures of Bora Bora: no photoshop is required!

For the past few days, we spa'ed, jet ski'ed, went on a jeep safari up 3 peaks (that was exhilarating) and even had a photographer in tow while we toured the lagoon and snorkeled. Ahhhh what bliss.

It isn't all roses of course. Both of us were struck with food poisoning( or maybe alcohol poisoning ) before we got here. So the few days leading to the honeymoon and our journey over was quite horrendous.

Spent day 1 recovering. Day 2&3 was fantastic but Twitchy was down again with food poisoning on day 4.which is today. So what did I do? I went on a photography excursion around the hotel. All by myself.

Enjoy!

First class in a budget airline

Twitchy and I flew first class on a budget airline. Well, it's as first class as it gets in that plane. Our chair reclined to a bed! Ahhhh the luxury. I could get use to this. Traveling in style and comfort.

Married

As of 220912

The night before

Lying here in bed on the 69th floor of an apartment on the eve of the wedding - what a surreal feeling. A culmination of 9 months of prep. Of blood, sweat and many tears.

Yes, many would say a wedding is just a night of your life, and that marriage is is of far more importance but still....wow. I'm getting married!!!!

Amazing.

Zoo

One of the absolute must-do that I always recommend to my Sydney visitors is going to the zoo. Our glorious Taronga Zoo. And today we actually went to the zoo - the first of zoos to come for my 3 year old nephew.

We were joined by my future sis in law and future nephew & niece (can't wait to remove the term future). So as you can imagine, a 2 year old, a 3 year old AND a 4 year old. All racing through the zoo! Kids make fast friends and by the end of the day my poor nephew was quite attached to his new mates and couldn't wait to see them again!

... And poor Aunty Esther is reeling from exhaustion. Me want me time. Maybe i should sit in a corner. Like the boss below.

4 sleeps to go!

My life is the mother of all hectic at the moment. Every spare moment is spent wedding planning. When not wedding planning, I am entertaining my guests, early arrivals for the wedding. With so much that is happening, I am a little lost, and whingy, tired and I crave some me time. Or some us time :(

But twitchy says we have a lifetime of us time. And we should soak in every experience we have, instead of wishing them away. My fiancé, the wise one.

Can't wait to be your Mrs.

Xx

15 days!

We are now 15 days from the very big day.

Apart from being sick, we've been so busy!

Pick up rings - done

Deliver cake toppers to the cake lady - done

Bridal gown fitting - done

Attend a marriage preparation course - in progress

Wow, what an experience. This would be my first "therapy-like" consultation. You know, like the ones you see on TV, when people see a psychologist and sit on a couch while you are being analysed. Except that in real life, the psychologist seem to talk a little more. It can be a little daunting, being put under a spotlight. Almost as though you are forced to reflect everything you do and question who you are. But thats the entire purpose isn't it? Find out who you are and what you reflect as a couple.

Learn our wedding dance - in progress

It really has been fun, learning a dance routine and dancing in sync! Now all we can hope for is that we don't forget out steps

All the big stuff's done. Just the little tiny bits that need attending and refining, like meeting and briefing the suppliers. And wedding shopping, getting all out accessories done. 

Our nights are pretty much packed till the very big day.

How do I feel?

Occasionally, I have pockets of euphoria and excitement. After all, we are getting married!!! Then at times I am a nervous wreck. Then I get all anxious because I fear I am not sitting back and enjoying myself as I should. All these plus the fact that I have been so sick.....

Wow....weddings!

Lurgy

Been down with the flu since...my hens! Which is more than 2 weeks now. I just can't seem to get any better and my spirits are sinking lower and lower as the day goes by.

The wedding's 15 days away, and here I am fighting to get well.

I can't feel anything except anxiety. Please please please let me be well again. I need the energy, the strength and stamina to get through this.

My Hens night

Had the best hens night ever, and it was for me! There is just something about getting your fav girls together and being naughty around town.

😜

Success

I am immensely proud of myself!

I did it!!!

Cryptic post

I am nervous. And embarrassed. I am a procrastinator. And I can't hide anymore.

Tomorrow is that day I face my fears and do something I really should have done a long long time ago.

Wish me luck.