Success

I am immensely proud of myself!

I did it!!!

Cryptic post

I am nervous. And embarrassed. I am a procrastinator. And I can't hide anymore.

Tomorrow is that day I face my fears and do something I really should have done a long long time ago.

Wish me luck.

Busy busy bee

So I'm clocking in at 530am in kl at the moment, took the night flight and arrived in the wee hours of the morning. All this for a 3 day weekend here. For BFF2's wedding and to sort out last minute prep for my kl one.

So I wouldn't call this a leisure trip,more like a work/diplomatic one. I can only hope it's a good trip.

Mum. Need I elaborate more?

-----------------------------------
All things aside, celebrate Twitchy's birthday just yesterday and we both realized- its 72 days until the big day!
Until then it's plans every weekend, so many things to do, so many places to go....rock and roll baybeh!

...just don't stop with the redbull.

Reading our vows

Reading and picking my vows has made me super excited for the big day, that is....less than 3 months away!

OMG I can't believe it, I am getting married!

....I never thought I'm such a stickler for tradition and etiquette. And it seems like Mr Twitchy's like that too. It's amazing how much you learn about yourself as you start organising towards a massive occasion like this!

Bridezilla moment 1

I'm having a meltdown. Invitations that were printed came out looking cheap and tacky!

Welcome to the world

Sitting here at the airport, gathering my thoughts. Once again was tapped on the shoulder to come down for work. Two days, one night, leading up to the big preso. As reluctant as I was to actually be here again, I don't have much choice. And just as I suspected, my presence is really just a presence, to hold the bosses hand and help here and there where required.

Got to the Melbourne airport early Wednesday morning and saw THE text. BFF's water broke and she's in labour. 36 hours later, and with my work duties finally done, Baby S arrives!!!

So with 4 hours to go before my flight I hopped on a cab across town ( west to east) and got to the hospital, where I fumbled my way around. Baby S had only been here for an hour!

BFF hubby let me in the birthing suite and convinced me to just pop in. And I did. What a vision. BFF looking so serene and Baby S being so settled. I promptly cried....BFF thought I was being silly but I just couldn't help it. It's the most beautiful scene in the world!

What a feeling!

Daddy K and I shared a moment after. Where we just didn't say much but to stand outside and look stunned.

Baby S,

You probably know it but you're the luckiest baby in the world. You will be so spoiled with love and care, not only by your mum, dad and family but from Aunty E too.

I am so blessed to be able to meet you so soon and even more being able to be with my BFF, that's your mum, to share such a lovely, tender moment.

A moment I will treasure for life.

Love,
Aunt E

...

Today our closest and dearest friends, who have been together for 5 years announced that they are separating because HE wanted to move overseas. It's something he's always wanted to do but obviously the plans didn't involve her, or never did...

I knew him way before her. But she became one of my closest friends. One whom I trusts, one whom I regard really highly of. They are both in our bridal party.

When they broke the news to us, I felt like crying. I know she's breaking inside but keeping a strong front.

They probably don't know how much I am affected by it. But I feel nothing but pain. I held it all together until when I got back to the car, and sadness overcame me.

This song is one she sang once, and I shall forever remember this as she sang it with so much heartfelt, even months ago, that I tear up whenever I listen to it.

Jar of Hearts

I know I can't take one more step towards you
'Cause all that's waiting is regret
Don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore
You lost the love I loved the most

I learned to live, half alive
And now you want me one more time

Who do you think you are?
Runnin' 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
Don't come back for me
Don't come back at all

I hear you're asking all around
If I am anywhere to be found
But I have grown too strong
To ever fall back in your arms

I've learned to live, half alive
And now you want me one more time

It took so long just to feel alright
Remember how to put back the light in my eyes
I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed
'Cause you broke all your promises
And now you're back
You don't get to get me back

Who do you think you are?

Happy 10 years

Tonight we celebrated 10 years of being together. Everyday I love you even more, Twitchy.

Never again

I hate hate hate my life at the moment. I'm still sick- its been 2 weeks now. Diet is non existent. Lonely as hell, no social life since I get home from work at 7pm and try to rest up to get well.

And I'm still sick! So worn out, so depressed. I hate my work!

Lonely and sick

I haven't really mention it before but I was summoned in Melbourne for the month of May, to manage a bid.

This came as a huge shock because:

1) I wasn't given much notice- 3 days, in fact
2) I had no idea what I was in for - I was basically told to come down and help out
3) I don't do bids!! I have done bids early on in my career, but not managing them. It's beyond what I usually do
4) I am reporting to the Big Boss, which means I had to drop everything I was working on to work on this. And when I get back to my old job, my boss would have left for his month long hols
5) I turn 30, and have lots left to do on my wedding prep

Needless to say, I wasn't keen at all! It is a good job opportunity, proving myself to the company and doing the best I can. And I get to be in Melbourne- heavily preggers BFF is here, family here...

But I was torn. I was finally in the best shape of my life. I have a set routine and finally settling into life. I really don't want to be away from home!

.....

Anyway, here I am. It's been 2 weeks since i've been here... I went home the first weekend to celebrate my bday, then flew back to work on Monday.

Work is... Horrendous, yet satisfying. It has been an average of 12 hour workdays. 7 am to 7pm. I hardly see daylight. We commute 20kms to the west. Bid central is located on top of a depot in an industrial area. I got on top of work within days of being here. The team and the boss is a bit more calm with me managing the bid. So in that aspect, it has been rewarding.

However....I fell sick the beginning of week 2 and have been miserable since. It's hell, being alone in the hotel, without the comforts of home and nursing a fever, sore throat and flu.

It was an emotional roller coaster. Not one I share with anyone at work, but definitely a huge effect on me. I never thought I'd turn into one of those weak whining chicks but I did. It was just too difficult.

Fiancé popped by this weekend and we were both sick but it was still nice to have him around. And fiancé left today. And I broke.

How am I gonna survive another 2 weeks of being here?

30 and dirty?

So I had the bestest birthday ever! Threw an 80's theme party and had about 30 of my closest and dearest there. It was such a good feeling, to celebrate and rekindle some friendships that have been fading, well, not fading but kinda lost. Which seem imminent not that we're all older and busier lives.

Nevertheless I felt so loved, and am forever thankful to have people who care so much about me. My friends are my family and sometimes even closer than my family.

I love you all and I will always remember this special moment.

Bridesmaids Dresses

One big tick!

Saturday (28 April) was a momentous occasion. We found THE bridesmaids dresses at the second store we went to. The day started simple enough, took my gown over to my girl friend's and then tried it there. Then we went looking at a few stores and got her to try of a few dresses. Let's just call her SweetPea. Sweetpea is a bridesmaid at our wedding and she has been a pillar of support. She has been my pillar of strength over the past few years and truly one in a million.

It was fun, dressing up Sweetpea like a life-size doll! Anyway, we found the dress at the second store we were at, which coincidently is a couple of blocks again from home! And they were having a sale!

The dress, called "Mia" was on sale and after a fair bit of negotiation - had to play hardball to get the costs down - I decided to go for it! It's still slightly above my intended budget but I think its worth the little extra. Sweetpea looked amazing and the dress complimented her tiny frame!

Well there you go. Bridesmaids dresses - DONE!

Meltdown over

The day started well enough. Yesterday, I mean....We went to the cliffs, a scenic landscape, to contemplate, to see something new... Which was nice enough...

Then afternoon came, and I started to feel restless. Ate a packet of chips, then when even that failed, I went out to get this

And this...

And then went straight to bed. The End of a crappy day.

Never forget

5 years ago, on this very same day (Wednesday) daddy passed away.

The day my heart broke for the second time. Things have never been the same since.

I miss you dad. What I'd give to have you around, to talk to.
To walk down the aisle and have our dance

Wedding Cakes...part 2

My awesome weekend started with a wedding cake consultation. After a one-hour discussion on our ideal cake, we were finally given a quote of $850 for a two-tier cake.

The cake designer was an absolute delight. He was so outrageous, we hit it off immediately. Ahhh i wouldn't hesitate to work with them if they weren't so pricey! But check out what we were given to take home!!!

Of being size 8

I don't think I've mentioned my weight loss win, I have reached my "true weight" a few weeks ago.  What an enormous achievement!

Since then I've been on a short trip overseas, (where Dukan is virtually impossible in an Asian country) and indulged in Easter chocolates. One week back into the diet routine and here I am, at my "true weight" once again. 

I have decided to aim for an additional loss of 3kg, I predict that this would be quite a challenge. Nevertheless, I hope to reach this goal within the next 3 weeks!

I'm also now a size 8! 

I can't remember the last time I wear size 8 clothes. *teary eye*

I'm very proud of myself. And rightfully so.

Wedding Cakes...part 1

Had a shitty week but I'm currently doing something to balance out the unhappiness. 

Who would have thought that shopping for wedding cakes would have been so therapeutic?

If I weren't pushing to loose more kgs (minus 12 and counting) I would have loved to holler...

"Get In Muh Belly!"

True Weight

As of this morning, I have reached my "True Weight*"! I have lost 13kgs since Christmas!!!

Wowser!

I feel incredible, what a huge achievement. I've always maintained that I'd climb back on top. Be at the top of my game before i ever have kids. This is it!

What next? I'm going on a mini holiday this weekend (5 days!) and will aim to loose the holiday weight and an addition of 2+kg. Wish me luck!

*True Weight is a realistic, healthy weight that can help attain and maintain for the rest of your life. It takes into consideration a multitude of elements, such as family history, age, gender, how easily you put on weight, your height, your history of dieting, and so on.

Do your own homework!

Bridezilla rant *on*

Dear girl,

Love you to bits but can you, for f&ck sake get your act together and do your own homework? I'm really happy you've found Mr Right, even more that he propose. God knows how happy I am that we are able to share such happy moments in our life....but...

It's bad enough you decided to go with my photographer, even though you knew she is my photographer. Seriously? Who does that? Can you be a little bit more original?

Then you got us to meet up for breakfast, under false pretences. Felt as though you were trying to squeeze us for our supplier list. You put us in such uncomfortable situation, I felt paranoid that you were just there to gather "intelligence".

I hate that I have to get up to the point where I can't reveal who my suppliers are, or fake ignorance.

Well, I can't wait till we can actually kick back and enjoy each others company again, because frankly, at this rate, I don't want to see you until you get your shit sorted.

Love,
The more organised bride.

Bridezilla rant *off*

...Yes, I'm calling this a bridezilla post. It seems so trivial, to be upset over such little things in the grand scheme of life. But I can't help being upset! I can't help but feel as though my ideas are being stolen, right from under my nose. All the hard work, all the contacts....

....that never happened

After all the fanfare, the engagement shoot was called off due to poor weather.

I was gutted!

Yes, it was raining the entire day, but we thought it'd clear come sunset.

There were lots of umm'ing and ahh'ing with the photographer and makeup artist during midday, but after looking at the rain radar, Mr Other Half and I decided to go ahead, figuring that a little rain might actually be...romantic!

Unfortunately by 3pm, the photographer decided against the shoot, perhaps she didn't want to take any chances.  But by then, we'd bought our props (flowers and cupcakes), and I was already getting my hair and makeup done!

Mr Other Half event spent a couple of hours picking up cupcakes and playing florist while I was away!

4pm, and the weather was clearing up.

Just as Mr Other Half and I thought, grey skies would clear up! See the ray of light? It was all clear throughout sunset. which would have been perfect for a shoot!

How disappointing...

I'm trying to be positive, but I'm always irked when I can't kill two birds with one stone - get my makeup and hair done AND a photo shoot. Coulda, Woulda, SHOULDA!!!

...but on a positive note, my makeup and hair was perfect! The artist was not only professional, but also very nice! I felt like a princess, and can't wait for everyone to see them at the wedding. We even had time to try 4 hairstyles, take pictures of them and I can now take my time to decide which one I'd like on the BIG DAY.

We've rescheduled for a 7am shoot next month. Will be doing the sun dance until then.