Low low low

Nobody told me abt feeling low when you have a tiny miny me dependant on you for all their needs. Feeling low because I feel trapped. Can't leave home, can't enjoy some sun.... Can't even eat what I want!

Baby k  hates being put down to sleep. She cries every time I put her down, no matter how tired she is! I feel depressed:(

...but I also feel lot of love for this tiny human being. God give me strength to cope and be a good mom.

Hard boobs and sleep

Woke up with hard boobs today, it's day 10. I guess milk is well and truly here! Baby K had another one of her crazy cluster feeding moments last night and fed for 4 hours! I was so exhausted towards the end of the night....

Today Twitchy and I decided to experiment and try putting Baby K to sleep in our pram bassinet. Since baby K hates her bassinet, we thought we'd try another one. And it seems to work. She's been asleep for an hour now. Would it be premature to celebrate?

9 days later....

I now weigh 57.1kg, which is a weight loss of 6.2kg since the birth oh baby K! No exercise needed, just day-to-day life adapting to baby. Which of course, included lots of stress, tears, stamina and fatigue!

I am eating well. If you could call a diet of ginger that. Following Chinese confinement is such a pain! I understand some of the rationale, but some other aspects are just plain nonsense. My biggest complain is the food ( I think it's got to do w the fact that my cater has no idea how to vary their cooking), drink ( imagine not being able to drink water when breastfeeding) or showering and washing hair. 

Yesterday I felt low. Like I had no control in my life. Bad enough my routine revolves around baby- but to not be able to eat/ drink what I want or even shower? That nearly killed me.

After a good cry.... I decided to cheat. Drink lots of water in the bedroom & sneak a shower in the morning in the ensuite. Hah! I felt better already. Take that u stupid confinement!

Update : Baby K had her weight checked today too. The midwife gave her a clean bill of health. And Baby K surpassed expectations, she surpassed her birth weight and gain some more! 

Today is working out to be a good day! 😅

Baby K's first week highlights

Dear Baby K,

I feel like I need to document every minute of the first week of your life here. But time is running out. Any moment now you will wake up and demand a feed! So I better be quick....

Day 1 - 8/7

High on adrenalin! Can't believe baby is here! 

She also had an long sleep, from 7am to 1pm. I thought it was because she was a good baby but I think it maybe just her being a sleepy newborn. 

Baby wouldn't stop feeding in the afternoon and way into the night. She was hungry. Sucking really weakly so resorted to formula to supplement hunger. Also sent her to the nursery as I was in a pretty bad state- exhaustion and pain from labour.

Day 2 - 9/7

After a nightmare of night, I woke up in good spirits and ready to take on the challenges. Also just occurred to me that I should take everyday at a time.

Went to classes at the hospital which also helped assured that we are on track and that we are not alone with the problems.

Had a pretty good night with me feeding baby every 2 hours to make sure she is not too hungry

Day 3 - 10/7

Baby's a little jaundiced so I'm continuing to ensure that baby is hydrated, well fed and have wet nap pies!

Restless night. Baby supplemented with 2 doses of formula to help her sleep. 

Right on schedule, baby blues hit. A condition that's associated with the breast finally producing milk and release of pregnancy hormones. Sure wasn't pleasant as I turn into a blubbery mess! Probably didn't help that twitchy wasn't allowed to stay in the hospital throughout the entire duration. 

Day 4 - 11/7

Hep B vaccination and discharge weight was 2.772kg! A healthy weight as baby has not lost much from the past few days.

Discharged from hospital and our first night home!

I didn't cope very well leaving the hospital. Feels as though I'm leaving safe grounds and about to embark in the dangerous world on my own! Baby K was put in the car capsule and started crying which made me cry too! She stopped within a minute or two but my waterworks continue untill I got home!

Day 5 - 12/7

It's Twitchy's birthday! We're still struggling a little with routine but I'm beginning to get the hang of things. It's really comfortable being at home, compared to the hospital. I'm getting lots of support from all mummy friends by sharing experiences, advices and reassurances. Thank god for mothers! Speaking of which, grandma has been helpful with cooking and cleaning. We don't always get along but I a, forever grateful she is looking out for her baby who is looking after a baby now....

We celebrated  Twitchy's birthday with cake in the evening!

Baby's umbilical cord fell off during a nappy change - that was quick!

Day 6 - 13/7

Opa,Oma and Sil came over for lunch, which was quite nice. It's actually nice to have a conversation w family. 

We had the best night sleep tonight. I am resigned to the fact that baby's only been here for 6 days so there is no such thing as being spoiled! So baby sleeps on my chest. We clock in a record of 5 hours sleep with a feed & diaper change in between.

Day 7 - 14/7

Today! Today I am so much more comfortable than I have been in days. 

My body sores have lessen, anxiety level has dropped off and am no longer too stressed over things not being done. 

Baby K actually laughs and smiles in her sleep when she doesn't even do it in real life! It's amazing...

Twitchy and Grandma have gone out this afternoon to shop, so it's baby and I on the couch! Loving it.

Immense love

One week on and baby K and I are slowly adapting to life, to each other, and being at home!

I am trying to savour every moment I have with baby, after all, they don't always stay a newborn. And this being my firstborn......sure is special! I remember my labour. 3 pushes and the doctor got me to reach out (or down) for Baby K! 

It's a special moment that Twitchy and I will remember forever. Baby K  freshly born on my chest, she hardly cried. Instead she had her eyes wide open and stared at us. Tears just streamed down my face at that moment. I remember turning to Twitchy and say that we've just created perfection. 

At this time last week

I can't believe at this time last week baby was still kicking away inside of me. I was deeply uncomfortable, and was having contractions 5 mins apart! I remember jumping into the shower, thinking that it'll not be long before we need to head to the hospital....

Baby K is 6 days old

Can't believe baby K is already 6 days old! I've been wanting to write her birth story but I hardly have time to even use the toilet, let alone write.

There are so many things I'd like to do but taking a nap is the top of my list when baby naps. I am now averaging a total of 3-4 hours of sleep( this is a cumulation of all the broken sleep throughout the day and night.

How do I feel? Sometimes like a filthy animal. Make it a cow, since I seem to be feeding baby 8-10 times a day!

I have had plenty of moments over the past few days. I really want to record them and remember them forever ( and maybe someday I'd look back and laugh).

Baby K is growing so fast. Her look changes; one day she looks like me, next day she looks more like dad. Latest development? Her umbilical cord dropped off on day 5! That was quick!!! I thought they don' t drop till a week or two?!

Please don't grow too quickly baby, let me savour every moment I have with you.

Baby K

Baby K arrived at 4:56pm on 7/7!

Who would have thought that Twitchy and I could have created perfection?

To the hospital or not?

I keep waiting for my dramatic sign to get to the hospital. Been having contractions every 5-7 minutes at 40 seconds each time. It's uncomfortable, but I don't feel severely in pain! Hmmmmm the dilemma.

Sleepless nights

All throughout pregnancy I've had really good sleep. But for the past few nights i've been a night owl. Come 1:45am my eyes would open. And not go back to sleep until 4-5am.

What a pain!

And it's crucial timing too. Considering these would be the last few nights before baby arrives!

40 weeks today

We're due today!

What did I do? Lots, even though I had crappy sleep last night. Walked to the shops with mum and had coffee and then a bit of a walk around the neighbourhood. It was good morning for a walk. When we got home, we continued exploring my building and the street parallel to time.

After a bit of a rest - watching a drama series, we went to the mall for lunch.

While we were walking at the mall I felt a little funny. Like a twinge of something. (What can I say, I'm quite intuitive when it comes to my body!). Went to the toilet to check, but nothing.

It's close to bedtime, and I definitely think something's up. Like I'm leaking. Whether this is something to be excited about, we shall see!

Like a child

My mother is like a child. All she ever does is to complain and nag. She constantly complains about the weather but what does she wear? A t shirt at home and opens all the doors. She complains about the lack of sunlight but wouldn't go out for a walk under the sun. And when we're finally out she complains about the ray of sun light , how it's too bright.

Oh god. 

So the 5 hours were spent out at an Asian grocery store, where she bought things that we already have. Then lunch. Then a bit of a walk. And if that's not enough I took her to Luna Park for a stroll and ice cream. Only then she was a little happier.

I think I have already demonstrated super strength today by being patient and accommodating. I have been out for 5 hours. My back hurts, I am exhausted from the lack of sleep last night. And I have not snapped at her. But boy, I'm so damn tired. 

Name me a 40-week pregnant lady who not only has to endure pregnancy but also the stress and exhaustion of minding a 60 year old child....

39 weeks + 5

It's July, it's July!

After 9 days of rain, the first day of July brought a ray of sunshine. Which is very much welcomed here. I was going nuts trying to figure out how to entertain mum and also to figure out ways to exercise and stretch my legs. Geez, being heavily pregnant and restricted is sure no fun. Some people find joy in just eating and sleeping but I just can't do it! I'd love to walk, sight see and watch movies! Added to stress is mum being here. Mum who is not too independant and not adventurous on her own - which means, I struggle to keep her entertained.

------------------------------------------------------

How far along? 39 weeks + 5 days

Total weight gain/loss: I haven't dared to weigh myself for a while. All I know is that I have been eating a fair bit and my little low tummy is not so little anymore!

Maternity clothes? Yes! Wearing the same old outfits day in and out. Decided that i'll just wear hoodies and jumpers and lots of scarf rather than buying new coats. Also tracky daks and dressing gown when i'm home. I like wearing my fitted long sleeve tops to show off the bump!

Stretch marks? Yes :( Right on 38 weeks the stretch marks appear. It's low on the tummy so I'm guessing because baby dropped. It's was a little upsetting but I've resigned to it and am repeating to myself that i should be thankful i only started getting them late in pregnancy!

Symptoms: 2 nights of sleeplessness and carrying low. There are still occasions when I get breathless and can't get comfortable. Other than that I'm feeling good!

Sleep:  Occasional sleeplessness. I'd say every other night as I'm getting a little more uncomfortable now. Baby's pretty active at night too.

Best moment these 2 weeks: Now that mum is here, I find relief when hubby is home. He helps to offload the pressure and takes control of things, which I truly treasure.

Have you told family and friends: Yes! Actively posting on Instagram :)

Miss Anything? Sashimi these days. And being slim and not being squashed. Walking and running!

Movement: Baby is head down and engaged! At my last appointment the doctor says she is still even lower. Which i already knew. I can feel her when i walk sometimes. Thankfully I am not waddling yet! She is also moving a little bit more!

Food cravings: Since my last post, I had my durian. It was heavenly! Nothing much otherwise, perhaps fruits?


Anything making you queasy or sick: Still the smell of cooking meat :( Mum has taken over the cooking duties. Thankfully she is mindful of my aversions and has stuck to steamed/boiled food.

Baby is a: GIRL!

Belly Button in or out? Half in and out? hehe! 


Wedding rings on or off? On. Doesn't look like my finger are going to swell.

Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy today because the sun is shining! Been a little moody as I struggle to  adapt to mum being around.

Looking forward to: Baby being here. Any day now - it's 2 days to due date but I doubt she'd be on time. But don't take too long baby, wouldn't want you to overcook!

38 weeks + 5 days

Third week of maternity leave and mum is here! I have to be honest. I haven't been looking forward to the thought of mum living with us for 2 months. Twitchy and I spent our last date night watching a movie on Friday night before picking mum up on Saturday morning. The weekend was a blur of going to Asian grocery stores and buying Asian confinement necessities. Yes I am actually going to abide by the Chinese confinement rules post partum....EEEEK!

Anyway, I was pretty sure that bubs would be here early. But at the last OBGYN appointment, i walked into the office with another lady, who was clearly struggling to breathe and walk - and she is due the same time as me. Hmmmmm. Ok so maybe I'm not that bad after all....

Apparently all 3 of us in the family were late and had to be induced. So I'm guessing I might be going down that path.

-------------------------------------------------------
How far along? 38 weeks

Total weight gain/loss: Last weight at 63.5 kgs, haven't had the chance to weigh myself. But i definitely have been eating a bit since mum arrived.

Maternity clothes? Yes! Wearing the same old outfits day in and out. Decided that i'll just wear hoodies and jumpers and lots of scarf rather than buying new coats. Also tracky daks and dressing gown when i'm home.

Stretch marks? Yes :( Right on 38 weeks the stretch marks appear. It's low on the tummy so I'm guessing because baby dropped. It's was a little upsetting but I've resigned to it and am repeating to myself that i should be thankful i only started getting them late in pregnancy!

Symptoms: 2 nights of sleeplessness and carrying low. There are still occasions when I get breathless and can't get comfortable. Other than that I'm feeling good!

Sleep:  Two nights of sleeplessness over the weekend and I'm back to having good sleep. All it took was a warm shower before bedtime and new bedsheets!

Best moment these 2 weeks: Went back to work on Friday to say hello to my workmates and hungout with them. That was fun. Also been spending everything day with my mommy friends. I feel like i have some sort of support system in place, which is assuring.

Have you told family and friends: Yes! Actively posting on Instagram :)

Miss Anything? Sashimi these days. And being slim and not being squashed.

Movement: Baby is head down and engaged! At my last appointment the doctor says she is still even lower. Which i already knew. I can feel her when i walk sometimes. Thankfully I am not waddling yet! She is also moving a little bit more!

Food cravings: Vegetable and fruits. i don't eat enough of them these days. I still can't say i have cravings - more like food aversions (what I definitely don't want to eat!) Oh and thanks to mum - i now feel like durian.


Anything making you queasy or sick: Still the smell of cooking meat :( Mum has taken over the cooking duties so I am praying she doesn't cooking too much overpowering smells!

Baby is a: GIRL!

Belly Button in or out? Half in and out? hehe! 


Wedding rings on or off? On. Doesn't look like my finger are going to swell.

Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy today after a week of anxiety at the thought of mum being over. It's ok. i think we will be ok as long as I get enough sleep and not be too impatient.

Looking forward to: Sunny days! It's been raining and gloomy since mum arrived. It was also the coldest weekend for the year! Mum was getting restless, so am I! I want to walk in a park while I still can!

Stretchmark woes

38 weeks today and the lo and behold, the stretchmarks have finally appeared!

...and I thought I got off scott free from stretch marks. I was pretty much in the clear until 2 days ago! First the tummy got a little itchy, then when I looked in the mirror I saw tiny marks. Didn't think much of it and applied cream and went to bed. The next day, more appeared!

I've resigned to the fact that it's bound to happen :(

I guess I should be grateful that it hasn't happened any earlier.

37 weeks

First week of being on maternity leave. First week of driving around in the X1 (and I'm beginning to like it). Went to a breastfeeding class. Finally stopped being overwhelmed by the lack of things we have (or don't have) in preparation for baby and bought some things (diapers!) Also 37 weeks. Which mean I am full term and baby can come any minute and be safe! Eeep!

----------------------------------------------

How far along? 37 weeks

Total weight gain/loss: I weighed myself a few days ago. I am 63.5 kgs, which means a weight gain of 13.5kgs.

Maternity clothes? Yes! Wearing the same old outfits day in and out. Decided that i'll just wear hoodies and jumpers and lots of scarf rather than buying new coats. Also tracky daks and dressing gown when i'm home.

Stretch marks? None so far. Tummy gets really red some days. It's an angry red. and getting itchy!

Symptoms: My tummy has dropped. Which means no more muscle stretch pains. Woo hoo! There are times when I can hardly breathe though, as though the belly is crushing me a little bit. Now that I'm not working, I have a bit more energy to do things, so I've been out about 3-4 hours a day and still feel ok. Had my second leg cramp in the morning too. That was excruciating. But thankfully it went as quickly as it got here!

Sleep:  Still good sleep! Last night i didn't even wake up and slept throughout! But there has been a few nights there I seem to have insomnia after waking up to pee.

Best moment these 2 weeks: Last week of work was beautiful - I love my workmates, they are the best and the sweetest. Had the girls sleepover AND  i loved spending time with them! Also conquering my fear of being overwhelmed at shops and finally feeling ok and ready for baby.

Have you told family and friends: Yes! Actively posting on Instagram :)

Miss Anything? Sashimi these days. And being slim and not being squashed.

Movement: Baby is still head down and engaged! Had my doctor's appointment and he says she's low down there. Not surprising. I could feel her being low. Baby is not too harsh with movement these days. But the funniest thing is Twitchy had a sleepless night and spent a few minutes watching baby move in my belly while i slept!

Food cravings: Vegetable and fruits. i don't eat enough of them these days. I still can't say i have cravings - more like food aversions (what I definitely don't want to eat!)


Anything making you queasy or sick: I've been cooking. And it's fine and dandy. But the lingering smell of garlic and ginger? Not too fond of it yet.

Baby is a: GIRL!

Belly Button in or out? Still In. Getting shallower. Still have a feeling it will pop soon. 


Wedding rings on or off? On. Doesn't look like my finger are going to swell.

Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy most of the time. But also anxiety at the thought of mum being here in a week and the thought of loosing my freedom. I pray to got that my patience runneth over and that I can bite and tongue and have thicker skin. I was also emotional a week or so ago at the thought of Twitchy and I no longer being just us two. I love him so much and I hope our love will never change, even with a baby in the picture.

Looking forward to: Enjoying the last week with hubbie before mum gets here. Embracing and cherishing more baby movements. And shopping a bit more and getting the place ready for baby.

Overwhelmed.

Visited a good friend who just had a newborn, and I am blown away by how unprepared we are. Today I am 37 weeks, which is full term! If baby were to arrive today, we'd be screwed.

I don't even have a burp cloth!

So I went to the shops after and had a small breakdown. What do I need. Where do I get it? How much? What's the best brand? Needless to say, I left and went home. Finally relaxing on the couch. What a scary world out there!

First day of Maternity Leave

It's the first day of my long maternity leave. I'm meant to relax and take it easy over the next two weeks, before mum arrives and start preparing for the arrival of baby. Don't really know when baby's going to arrive. I'm 37 weeks tomorrow - which means anytime between now onwards is safe for baby to make her entrance! Apparently it's common for the first child to arrive late. Which I am not looking forward to. I'm already feeling as big as a whale!

My last day of work last week was bittersweet. The boss and the workmates were so sweet, we even went to the pub for a few drinks and it's really nice to be working with people whom you care and will miss and I know I will be missed too! I was also anxious - not going to work for 9 months will be very odd. After all, thats all I know.

...and true enough, today I felt a little lost. I can't even relax, thinking I should be up and about and be a little more productive. And I have! Gym at 8am (yes decided i need to keep fit), running errands and paying bills in the morning. Watched TV mid morning, and grocery shopping after lunch. Here I am, and will be cooking a simple dinner for Twitchy - something I swore I will do to help out with the household budget.

Tomorrow I will buckle down and start preparing a shop list for baby!

Last week of work for 2013

It's my last week at work. As much as I thought I'd be ecstatic, I'm a little lost. I've never been on leave for this long before - will I be bored? Will I ever be the same when I return to work in March 2013?

One month to go

Twitchy and I spent half the weekend away from each other. Him with the boys on sat night, me with the girls on Sunday arvo. Also marked a successful weekend for me driving the x1 and familiarizing with it. It means that I will be ok when baby's here!!!

I visited a good friend of mine who just gave birth too. When I looked at their new addition,I just felt... In awe and ...a bit of panic! Omg. Just like that life changes!

So tonight I had a bit of a breakdown. Just think- twitchy and I , our relationship will never be the same again when baby's here! The more I think about it, the more significant it becomes. This is life changing! Baby, kids will be with us for at least another 20-25 years! We'll never be " the twitchy and I"  again. And I panicked. I love our us time. What if we never have this time ever again? So as I told Twitchy my fears earlier tonight I burst int tears.

I love baby, I really do. But I love Twitchy too, and I never want things to ever change. 10 years of just the two of us. It's a weird apprehension that I have no idea where it came from! But we had a good chat and I supposed things will never change unless we let it change us. There will always be date nights and we will always make time and effort for the two of us.

Love you Twitchy.xx u mean the world to me ( and baby)!