Had such a wonderful day up to this point. Made a spontaneous trip out to the shops and conquered my fear of going out with baby. Mum and I put baby in the car, went to the shops and shopped, got my hair washed and blow dried and then back home.
Then evening came and I cracked it. I absolutely lost my patience and cussed at my mom. Told her I can't wait for Sunday when she leaves and that I've had enough. It wasn't just me, she said some things in the horrible exchange.
Mothers. I have never had a smooth relationship with my one. There has always been favoritism when I was young (when she openly admitted her preference over my brother to a neighbour). Then there are the countless times she openly called me names, and god knows how many times she has said the most hurtful things. That mothers don't usually say to their children.
I can only pray I don't turn into her in the future. Well no. I am determind to NOT be her! My relationship with my daughter will not be one of hurt and unhappiness, or lack of communication or expression.
I don't know where I'm getting at. Perhaps I wished I kept my cool and not say what I truly felt earlier. But I think I have been doing well in containing myself over the past 6 weeks and there is only so much one can take.
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